8l. Not A Lover Of Money, 1 Timothy 3:2-3

8l. Not A Lover Of Money

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Lover Of Money - one devoted to or thoroughly enjoys money

We all know cat lovers, those people who live cats. They post pictures of their cat posing doing its antics. They hug their cats, make excuses for their cats, clean up after their cats, the cats can do no wrong. Despite the smells, the shedding hair, or the knocked over heirlooms or torn up furniture, they will defend their need to have cats.

Those who love money is similar. They will do anything to have money. They may work endless hours destroying family, or cheat they less fortunate to get further ahead. No thing and no one best stand in the way to have more. The Scripture says it this way, The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. It causes people to go astray and trade their first love for what they desire more - money. You cannot convince them otherwise, they must have it no matter the cost.

K and A, money is so needed, but when it takes control, when you make excuses for seeking it more than the things of God, you have become a lover of money, and it will destroy your relationships. You will be hit with many griefs and emotional pains. All this is unnecessary. You must work to get money to live, but remember, it is all God's. Keep the right perspective and money will be an avenue to bless others. Then, you too will be blessed as you benefit others with what God give you. That's the kind of leader you need to be.

~Dad

8k. Quarrelsome, 1 Timothy 3:2-3

8k. Quarrelsome

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Quarrelsome - apt to be in a verbal conflict

There are some people who always seem to be in an argument. This is bad enough, but those who create conflict with their arguments are destructive. There is no peace with a person of such nature. It is especially harmful in the church when important issues need discussed. Progress cannot go forward, the issues cannot resolved and there will be no unity of mind or spirit.

Daughters, what kind of persons are you. Do you seek to create an atmosphere of unity during discussions? It is important that you do not tear others down to get your point across. That is a delicate task at times,for some people take the rejection of their ideas as rejection of them personally. Leaders must hash out ideas, principles, methods, and settle disputes, among other tasks... make sure you do not become the problem. You be the one who is the peacemaker who offers the solutions.

~Dad

Proverbs 21:19 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

8j. Gentle, 1 Timothy 3:2-3

8j. Gentle

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Gentle - kind, amiable, free from harshness 

This is obviously opposite of the last one - violent. I wanted it separate because it is important to pose the positive. Leaders are to have a kind and gentle spirit. Their demeanor is not accepting of all wrongs, rather it understands why there is evil . They know that without the grace of God in their own life - there go I. This character trait helps to settle disputes, it keeps the belligerent at bay, and helps the sinner know that they have the possibility of redemption.

K and A, be that kind and gentle person . Have patience with those who seem to always falter. Understand how blessed you are to have grown up in a Christian home. K, I know that your home life as a teen was not always Christian and sometimes  not even remotely so. That is sad, but you knew right from and decided to choose a better path. I am thankful for that.

When you grow up Christian, it is easy to think everyone else should not be tempted to commit obvious sins. This is why a you as a leader need to understand the need for gentleness. It will enable you to encourage and lift the weak brother or sister in Christ.

~Dad

8i. Not Violent, 1 Timothy 3:2-3

8i. Not Violent

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Violent - Marked by the use of hurtful or destructive physical force...

This is not how a leader should be, not a leader nor a Christian for that matter! Christ, in the Sermon on the Mount, told us to turn the other cheek. Peter says to not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, rather repay evil with blessing!

K and A, you must not retaliate when someone does you wrong. You are not to force people to do what you want them to do, or even threaten to do so. This is improper for a leader. You need to bless and encourage others, giving them a contrast to how the world  rules over others. As your dad, I am grateful that you are not violent daughters not physically or verbally. Become humble and compassionate in all your dealings with people especially to those you lead.

~Dad

Just a side note... I was told that as a supervisor at CD you can't listen to why people were behaving like they are, you need to act! Give them warnings, verbal and written. They must not be given any slack... so sad. That isn't leadership, it is being a harsh commander, a thug!

8h. Not Given To Drunkenness, 1 TImothy 3:2-3

8h. Not Given To Drunkenness

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Drunkenness - The state of being drunk again and again. Certainly, we can see this is no good. To be Biblical, I must say this passage does not say that he can't drink. It does say though that a leader is not to get drunk. One drink of beer may give you slight impairment, but how many that drink, drink just one? How it affects you is different for all people, weight being a major factor, but each drink of alcohol affects every one. When I was young and didn't really no much, (as much as I thought I knew) I told someone that wine didn't affect you as much as beer... Not! The alcohol content can be much greater and just a little wine can affect you greatly.

Below is a chart that shows the side affects of drinking alcohol

BAC Level	Effects from Alcohol
0.02 - 0.03 BAC	No loss of coordination, slight euphoria and loss of shyness. Mildly relaxed and maybe a little lightheaded.
0.04 - 0.06 BAC	Feeling of well-being, lower inhibitions, and relaxation. Judgment is slightly impaired. Minor impairment of reasoning and memory, and less cautious. Your behavior can become exaggerated and emotions (ex. happiness or sadness) felt more intensely.
0.07 - 0.09 BAC	Impairment present in everyone. Driving skills such as vision, steering, lane changing and reaction time are impaired along with balance, speech, and hearing. Feelings of Euphoria in some. Self-control and caution are reduced. Riskier behaviors displayed. Judgment, reason and memory suffer. You are likely to believe that you are functioning better than you really are.
0.08 BAC is legally impaired and it is illegal to drive at this level.
0.10 - 0.12 BAC	Significant impairment to motor coordination and loss of good judgment. Speech may be slurred; balance, vision, reaction time and hearing will be impaired. Probably not thinking straight.
0.13 - 0.15 BAC	Very obviously drunk. Severe impairment to judgment, perception, and major motor skills. Very slow reaction time. Blurred vision, loss of balance and slurred speech. Feelings of well being starting to be replaced by anxiety and restlessness (dysphoria). Vomiting common.

K and A, I like the verse in Proverbs that say, It is not for kings, O Lemuel, not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer... You are daughters of The King! Choose the higher road, just because you can, doesn't mean you have to! Choose not to drink... do not drink any! You will never regret making that choice, that commitment!

~Dad

8g. Able To Teach, 1 Timothy 3:2-3

8g. Able tTo Teach

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Teacher - one who teaches... more weak definitions. There are many teachers who can't teach well. We all had one or so. They give out info and cover the material, but they do not teach. Teaching requires a bond of sorts between the learner and the instructor. A tie where each trusts and respects the other. The teacher is responsible for developing and encouraging this. It begins to take place once the teacher loves and cares for the student and desires their success. Once established, the teacher can teach and the learner, learn. Also, the teacher must inspire and engage their student. They need to give the student a reason to learn, then present the material in a interesting and vibrant way. Can this be done if the teacher doesn't know and truly believe the material?

K and A, each of you have taught Sunday School and Junior Church. Did you love each of your students? Did you desire their growth and success? It is so important that your students know that you care about them. This is much more important than being a content expert. Your love for them is key to your success as a teacher. But, you must not stop there... know your material, study and develop lesson and curriculum if not given. Then present in an engaging manner, Oh, yeah, another area... discipline. Loving them also requires discipline. In fact, discipline is teaching. Jesus sternly corrected his disciples. Paul instructed Timothy and Titus to set things straight. But, this all must be done with the student's success in mind. Do not beat them into submission. You are a teacher, not an executioner.

Daughters, put all these things in your mind, then submit to the Spirit's leading, and he will help you become one of God's effective teachers, leading many to faith and growth in Christ!

~Dad

8f. Hospitable, 1 timothy 3:2-3

8f. hospitable

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Hospitable - Offering a friendly, welcoming environment where needs are met. This environment can be a place or a condition of attitude. Hospitable leaders are approachable. When you have a question, they will be open to listening and will not make you feel like a fool. When you need assistance, they will not condescend and cause you to think there is no recourse, rather they will lift you up, dust you off, and help you begin again. If you need a place to go, they will provide a safe place where you are comfortable. They will provide what you need to carry on.

Young ladies, do belittle those who falter? Do you figure they just got what they deserved, or do you reach out and offer a way out, a way up? Offer those in need a lending hand. Give to those who ask, Ooo that's scripture, do not withhold when you have the means to bless those in need. Daughters, make your home a welcoming place. Don't just invite friends, but invite those you need a friend. Offer to your visitors a place of joy and peace. Beyond providing for their needs, give them your best. You are the hands and feet of God. He welcomed you, you welcome others in words and in deed.

~Dad

8e. Respectable, 1 Timothy 3:2-3

8e. Respectable

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Respectable - worthy of respect. No teacher would accept that definition, but its true. You will find this person to be proper in their character and in their behavior. They are decent people who do not push the limits of acceptable norms and Biblical understandings. People have nothing bad to say about them.

Daughters, you have seen people worthy of respect. In the church or friends from school or at work, you have know people on both sides of this trait. You need to be the persons who others want to be like. One who is not argumentive or boisterous, who is relaxed and peaceable, no wild hair or edgy clothes. Your speech is kind and uplifting. You are approachable. You forgo the tattoos and pierced tongue... You say, but today's church is full of these kinds people. True, this is an issue which is flourishing because of poor leadership who were put in their roles by people who did not follow Paul's instructions found in these two verses. But you... be a person of respect for whom others will look up to and want to become. That is my hope and desire for you; godly respectable leaders in the church.

~Dad

8d. Self-Control, 1 Timothy 3:2-3

8d. Self-Control

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Self-control, the ability to control oneself. Sounds easy, but it isn't. If it were so simple,we would not have all the "sicknesses" we have today. Almost all addictions are now a medical issues. But really, they started as self-control issues. Certainly, you can get hooked and are physically bound, but even most addictions can be solved by just stopping the habit. Take smoking... most people want to quit, but the drug makes you crave for it... but many have just quit cold turkey and never smoked again. Some are addicted to coffee, others to TV, and many to pornography. Each of these can be overcome through self-control. So, why don't  or why can't people just stop?

K and A, I offer this... one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. It is a gift given to those that are full of the Spirit. If you have a problem with habits, especially sinful ones, then get your heart right with God, get close to him! He will provide the needed self-control to overcome the problem. We all know that much can be avoided through proper upbringing, public shaming (not an acceptable norm), special meetings, and even medical solutions. Yet, the real problem and the real solution is a spiritual one. That is why a leader must exercise self-control. It shows his relationship to God.

~Dad

Note: It is best to have an accountability partner when overcoming a bad or sinful habit. This spiritual friend will hep keep you focused on seeking God and doing what is acceptable in His sight.

8c. Temperate, 1 Timothy 3:2-3

8c. Temperate

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Temperate - the ability to stay even keeled and controlled. This covers all areas of life except in your relationship with Christ. Yet, even there, some can get carried away, if they neglect life or family responsibilities. This includes attitudes and actions, hopes and dreams, and work and leisure. We must not go to extremes.

K and A, love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul. And, love you neighbor as yourself. Do not go to extreme in any other areas of life. Throughout your life you will find friends and colleagues that grasp on to fads, dreams, and "opportunities" head first without counting the costs. Make sure you keep from making rash decisions. Don't buy on feelings or because the opportunity is NOW or NEVER... Pray, if it is God's will, every major purchase will be there tomorrow. You don't have to make that decision right now. God will provide better. Trust him.

~Dad

I haven't discussed anger, flattery, clothing, hair, or beauty... these are areas of concern as well.

8b. One Spouse, 1 Timothy 3:2-3

8b. One Spouse

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

Now, I think this refers to having two or more spouses. But, as I was once asked; does this refer to one who has been remarried? Good question. It could mean the one divorced and remarried. I'm not sure. This I know, the spiritual heath of a leader is directly connected to their relationship to their spouse, and that home life is a great indicator of  the spiritual heath of a believer. Their devotion to, honor of, and respect for their spouse will correlate to their devotion to giving out the Word,  honor of their commitment to Christ , and respect for those they serve. It is appropriate to look at home life when choosing a spiritual leader.

K and A, your love your husband/future husband is an indicator of your love for Christ. If you can just toss away your spouse for another, you'll be willing to do the same to Christ. A marriage is a commitment set for life. It is important to choose wisely before marriage, yet even if that choice ended up being a foolish one, or said a different way, if you marriage is full of struggles and hardships, you can persevere through it and come out the other end shining like a star. Stick to just one husband, make it work!

~Dad

8a. Above Reproach, 1 Timothy 3:2-3

8a. Above Reproach

 1 Timothy 3:2-3 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

A leader needs to live in such a way that no one can bring about a complaint. The person that would not need rebuked or a reprimanded. Their character is helpful and kind, words are uplifting and encouraging, and their actions is above condemnation. Wow, you might say that is impossible!

K and A, you can be this person. We just came through an ordeal in our justice system with the confirmation of Judge Kavanaugh. False or un-corroborative accusations are not what is spoken of here. It is the true character of the person that matters. So, who will you be? Be that one for which no one can say a bad word. But, just don't look good, be good! Be that kind of person.

~Dad

8. Qualities Of A Church Elder, 1 Timothy 3:2-7

8. Qualities Of A Church Elder

 1 Timothy 3:2-7 Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his family, how can he take care of God's church?). He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgement as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devils trap.

A  and K, over the next few days or so I will go over each of the qualities needed  by you so that you can be a effective leader. Consider where God is calling you to serve, to whom he is asking you to develop. This list by Paul is specifically written for church elders such as pastors directing and guiding the church, but if you develop these qualities in your life, you too can be effective where God places you.

Consider the list below. How you can incorporate these qualities into your life?

Leadership Qualities

• Above reproach
• Not more than one wife
• Temperate
• Self-controlled
• Respectable
• Hospitable
• Able to teach
• Not a drunkard
• Not violent
• Gentle
• Not quarrelsome
• Not a lover of money
• Good Father and Husband
• Not Recent Convert - Mature

~Dad

Quite the bullet list.

7. Desire To Lead, 1 Timothy 3:1

7. Desire To Lead

1 Timothy 3:12. Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task.

K and A, set your heart on leading others. Don't just sit back and leave it to others. Note that this comes right after saying women are not to lead men. The following verses are then directed at men leaders. But, that doesn't mean you cannot lead. It just regulates who you can lead or how.

We need women, we need to be lead other women, to lead children, to lead in society. Much leadership is done by example. Some leadership is done straight out by commanding. And, other leadership is done by suggestion through wisdom and spiritual acumen (and I don't even know what that means but it is the right word). Desire what is noble.

~Dad

Don't sit back and let others do it... you be the one who gets it done!

6. Man's Authority Over Woman, 1 Timothy 2:13-14

6. Man'sAuthority Over Woman

1 Timothy 2:13-14 For, Adam was formed first, then Eve. And, Adam was not the one deceive and became a sinner.

Why is this never taught? Why haven't you ever heard a sermon focused on the authority structure and why it God set it up? I know - it's to controversial. No one wants to tackle this truth spoken of in Scripture. We avoid this important topic so we can all just get along.

There are two reasons given here as to why God has set man over woman.

1. Man was created first and woman second... notice, there is no third
2. Woman was deceived first, by Satan, then she deceived man

This is plain. One reason is because of creation - Eve was Adam's helper, and the other is because Eve was the one deceived. This is plainly written and understandable. 

K and A, Your mother is my best helper ever. She is a great spiritual helper and quiet solid strength in the church as well. You would do well to follow her example. This is not a cultural issue. It is a natural one and a spiritual one based on truth plainly seen in the Bible. Avoiding this truth has weakened our country, our families, and the church. Do not add to the problem by being part of it. Rather, fulfill your place as God designed. When you do, you will find full satisfaction in life!.

~Dad

5. Man's Authority Over Women, 1 Timothy 2:12

5. Man's Authority Over Women

1 Timothy 2:12 I do not permit a woman to or have authority over a man; she must be silent.

Whoa, this is another tough one! This does not fit today's society, nor does it fit most churches. Most people chalk Paul's teaching up to cultural differences. Back then Roman's wouldn't allow women to take control. It was a male dominated society, so Paul just went along with them. But, Paul was counter cultural in nature when it conflicted with the spiritual purity believers. He set all kinds of guidelines in the church that benefitted the followers of Christ and the cause of Christ that challenged the cultural norms. To go along with or to buck the trends of the culture was not the point. Paul set rules that encouraged and developed the spiritual lives of people and ones that helped keep the doctrine true.

A and K, the scripture is very plain, women are not to take control of the local church. Just like the authority in a Christian home, the authority in the church is no different, men are to be the leaders. I have believed it to mean, that men are to have the final say. Someone easily could interpret it much tighter. The last phrase, she must be silent, is a tough one. In tomorrow's post we will see why Paul was setting this standard authority in the church.

~Dad

Paul is setting up the authority structure. Remember, this doesn't say you have nothing spiritual to offer. Very important to keep in mind.

4. Women To Learn In Submission, 1 Timothy 2:11

4. Women To Learn in Submission

1 Timothy 2:11 A women should learn in quietness and full submission.

This is a tough subject in the church today because of the society in which we live. 100 years ago it was not tough, 50 years ago it was not that hard, today it is nearly impossible. Most churches have lifted this rule and do not follow Paul's thought. Because this verse is so controversial, I researched the subject in Adam Clarke's commentary. He is very open to women participating in the church and in spiritual things with few exceptions. Here's one: when it comes to arguing a point, women should remain quiet and submit to her authority, her husband and should discuss the matter alone with him. I see the main point of this verse as being this; a woman is to learn without ranting and raving and is to be willing to submit to male authority. That is tough for some women, especially in America.

K and A, this has become such a difficult subject. I believe that to be because very few in America today want to be subject to anyone. You would do well to follow this verse and the one that follows as we shall discuss tomorrow.

Here is what I want you to take from this verse... when in any setting, especially in church, learn in quietness and full submission. (I recommend this for men as well.) I have great respect when a woman makes a point or adds to a discussion with a calm demeanor. There is little worse than being in a discussion with a unrelenting yappy woman. Her arrogance tears at the fabric of the whole group. It will destroy a church. Daughters, you will have a huge impact on the lives of others when you are the stable, calm force of reason.

~Dad

When the Spirit moves in you... say what he gives you to say. If done in quietness and with respect, it will be well received and effective.

This just came to mind: you know who has problems with this teaching... those married to a weak kneed, lily livered man or married to a man who mistreats them, who do not love them as Christ loves the church, and of course wicked women.